The signs have plans

Had a blood test then a really exhausting battle of wills this morning so I was feeling a bit too light-headed to cycle so I went for a walk! Along a new route. I saw a number of rather surreal things on my walk. Among them was this:

WHY THE HELL WAS THE NO ENTRY SIGN SMILING?* This is what I think: remember the lighthouse monster? If not, read it! Well, this smiling sign bears a similar red and white theme. Why? Because they are colleagues! They work together towards one common goal: the destruction of the city! The no entry sign was smiling because it was in the middle of some diabolical plan to grind the city to a halt, one road at a time, just waiting for the lighthouse monster to break free of its prison and then, with no transport in motion, the lighthouse monster would destroy the whole city!

Then I saw this:
There are a number of things wrong with that situation. I'll list them, because lists are right in my comfort zone:

• This is a rooster, not a hen. Roosters do not lay eggs.
• If roosters did lay eggs, they wouldn't be about 1/4 the size of the actual bird
• Nor would they be golden
• Why would a rooster be in a clothes shop window?
• Silly rooster. You shouldn't be in a window. You're not a fashionable garment. You're a rooster.
• Unless this is Lady Gaga's latest hat.
  

I also saw the slender man on a suitcase. Yeah, that was weird:


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*I'd just like to take a moment to express my joy that this newish laptop actually has a light ON the caps lock button to let you know when it's active. It's genius.