Lists, lists everywhere

Regarding yesterday's post, I now know that an allergist is someone who specialises in the diagnosis and treatment of allergies. Darnit, I thought I was onto something.

I'm writing this paragraph before my walk, since I'm a morning person but, rather like a lizard, I'm waiting for what BBC weather promises will be the hottest part of the day before I go out and find a rock to sleep on. Today I'm setting myself a challenge. I shall try my hardest not to write about any of these things:

• Lava
• Miniature person colonies
• Wars
• Monsters
• Ninjas
• Swans

I'll be honest, I'm not sure what that leaves me with. We shall see!

Later that day...

This flower is pale. Why on earth is this flower pale?  Considering it is in a tiny cluster of flowers in the middle of a field, appears to be a daffodil and had many other flowers in the cluster that weren't pale, I can only think of these reasons:

• The flower is wearing heavy make-up
• The flower sunburns easily and so makes a habit of wearing p-60 suncream and is therefore doomed to remain white for all eternity
• The flower has a skin disorder that drains its pigment
• The flower is a ghost
• The Queen of Hearts changed her mind about red roses and decided to get white ones instead, but the poor cards who had to paint the roses white got carried away and painted all the flowers they could find.
• The flower has recently recovered from a severe illness or injury, and has not been outside in a very long time.

After the oddness of the pale flower I came across one of my favourite things:

 I love when paths wiggle for no apparent reason! Since I've been in a listing mood today, here are some of the reasons I think could explain why this path randomly wiggles here:

• The man who drew up the plans for the path misplaced his ruler
• The man who drew up the plans for the path sneezed
• The man who drew up the plans for the path enjoyed confusing people
• There are invisible trees that the path needs to navigate
• Something important is buried off to the side and the path wiggles a little to cover it up so that its secret may remain hidden in the earth for all eternity
• It had to swerve to avoid invisible springs of lava, since it is near the lava bridge.

Rats, I nearly managed to not mention lava for the whole post. Ah, well, no use trying to change yourself. Your energy is better spent being the very best at what you are! Unless you are an axe-wielding bank robber. Then you should probably do something about that.