The thief of legs

Something terrible is happening in Torquay. There's a very impressive thief about. The first thing I saw was this:

How terrible, thought I. How could someone just go up to someone's house and steal their window? And I mean that literally as well as rhetorically. You'd have thought the occupant would have woken up. It isn't easy to remove windows, especially silently. Not only that but I expect it got quite drafty for the poor victim. But as if that weren't bad enough, look what happened next!

It's not bad enough that he's going around stealing people's windows, he's also stealing legs! Maybe he needed the sharpened window to cut them off. These poor gulls aren't going anywhere soon unless they can find friends to roll them, or unless they become birdsnakes.

That's right.

Birdsnakes.

Fear them.

(alternate school of thought: someone is going around just stealing windows, and in completely unrelated news birds have learned to swim safely on invisible floors of lava)